


Fuck You Money

by avaenox



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Tim uses illegal and maybe slightly unethical methods for good causes, also called: I am an economics student and bored, both characters are sleep deprived which is my defense, first fic in a long while, hope it's not ooc, kinda crack lbh, lots of probably inacurate information about stocks, or: How To Take Down a Company by Tim Drake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 20:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21397912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avaenox/pseuds/avaenox
Summary: Connor is woken up by a wild Tim on the warpath.
Relationships: Tim Drake & Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 5
Kudos: 95





	Fuck You Money

**Author's Note:**

> Comments very much appreciated!
> 
> Come and say hi on tumblr
> 
> Characterization of Connor's and Lex' relationship inspired by Living_Free's fic 'Slip and Slide' which is amazing and can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/series/925041

‘Conner!’

Conner startled, woken from his post-mission nap. Groaning, he got up from where he had been enjoying the warm sunlight. The last mission had ended in an explosion of sticky goo and it had taken the team the better part of the morning just to get it off of them. Cassie had complained how it had messed up her hair washing schedule, whatever that was supposed to mean.

Afterwards, Connor had just laid down and fallen asleep in the common room. Half-Kryptonian or not, he still felt exhausted and the couch had looked very inviting.

That was how he ended up blinking the sleep out of his eyes and wondering, what could possibly be important enough to wake him up.

‘Connor!’

Now he noticed Robin trying to get his attention. ‘Do you have any stocks of Yris Incorporated in your portfolio?’

Robin was nearly vibrating, as much as this was possible for someone who was not a meta. Connor would have sworn that he could _smell_ the caffeine in his bloodstream (not that anyone would have believed him- his friends had learned to be suspicious of any ‘newly emerging superpowers’ on his part. Bart claimed he was still recovering from the week he spent believing Connor was able to accidentally watch him in the shower with x-ray vision. And that month he thought Connor could control his mind. Both of these incidents had been meant as harmless pranks, and, honestly, Connor still thought they were hilarious.)

‘What?’

‘Stocks. Of Yris Inc. Y’know the company that develops all those devices to ‘protect the climate and keep your environment unspoiled!’ Robin, no Tim - he was wearing civilian clothes, repeated himself impatiently.

His voice had turned chipper at that last part and Connor vaguely recalled it being used as a slogan in a TV ad. If his still half asleep brain remembered correctly, they produced electronics that checked if the chemical make up in the environment was in order and, if not, were able to clean up any man made mishaps. They had won some climate protection price and the owner had become rich quickly.

Only now did Connor notice that his friend was not only wearing ripped jeans (although he would have bet that this was not for fashion but rather carelessness) but also a threadbare shirt with characters from a cartoon he didn’t recognize. It certainly was a distinction from Tim’s usual well put together self.

‘My…stocks?’

Connor wasn’t entirely sure about the meaning of stock markets but he believed that you needed a lot of money for it. Had Tim’s sleep deprivation finally caught up with him?

‘Yeah, the ones Luthor got you. To ensure that you’d make an worthy heir and all that.’

Ah. Right. Lex Luthor had, in a fit of fatherly affection, given Connor a stack of paper, along with phrases like ‘basic knowledge’, ’important for your future’ and something that had sounded like ‘. Conner had forgotten about looking up anything more than the basic keywords to understand that his… father had just given him a substantial sum in stocks (obviously, most of those had belonged to LexCorp, but there had been more to ‘diversify his portfolio’ which was supposed to ‘decrease risks and ensure his equity was protected’). He had meant to inform himself more, talk to Tim who probably knew more about that kind of stuff than most economy teachers, but a dooming apocalypse or two had kept him occupied with more pressing matters.

Connor groaned. Of course his carelessness was now coming back to haunt him.

‘Can’t this wait?’

‘No can do. Get up, we need to do something slightly not legal.’

‘More so than vigilantism?’ Connor got up and stretched.

‘I think I have the paperwork somewhere…’ he mumbled.

Once they got to his room, Connor started to shuffle through his mess of a desk (said mess including, but not limited to, an English essay, a ‘Happy 3rd Birthday!’ card because his friends are hilarious, more candy wrappers than he’d care to admit and charging cables for a multitude of devices).

‘Aha!’ he shouted triumphantly after a short while, emerging victoriously with a white folder.

He started flipping through it, wondering at what point he had stopped questioning his friends antics and started just going along with all of them. Said friend was currently sitting in his bedroom floor and doing something on his miniature bat-palmpad. Apparently it involved a lot of numbers but Connor would not have been able to tell whether he was calculating the total of his shopping list or hacking government systems. Knowing Tim, it could have been both, as long as the former included dubious amounts of coffee.

After a while he had found out that he had a lot more money to his name than he had thought and that he would have to research the companies at some point. He wasn’t sure Lex Luthor’s moral code about who to buy shares from was the same as his. He also did, in fact, own shares in Yris Incorporated.

‘Sell it. As fast as you can’ he heard from Tim.

‘Why?’ At this point, Connor had turned on his laptop and looked up the company. ‘They don’t seem to be loosing value. And it sounds like they are pretty ethical as well.’

‘They will. And it will be for good reason. So unless you want to lose about… two thousand dollars, I’d recommend you sell your shares.’

Sighing, Connor took out his phone and dialled Lex Luthor’s number. In the end, he trusted Tim, and even if he didn’t care about loosing Luthor’s money, he would take his advice.

‘Connor.’ Answered Lex Luthor. ‘You haven’t called in a while.’

Connor cringed at that. It wasn’t that he couldn’t stand Lex, especially since he had made efforts to be a good father. Things were just… complicated.

‘I’m sorry’ he started. ‘I meant to call but..’

‘Don’t apologize. I assume you had your reasons.’

Connor barely stopped himself from apologizing once again.

‘Eh.. it’s about that stock portfolio you gave me. I have some questions.’

‘Ah, very well.’ Luthor almost sounded proud.

‘Yeah, I would like to sell some of my shares. Yris Incorporated company. All of them and as fast as possible.’

‘Of course, but why, if I may ask?’

‘Just a hunch’ Connor answered, hoping he wasn’t giving anything away. Tim looked like he was listening intensely as well. Was he trying to get a hint of which direction Luthor wanted to take his company? Thinking about how it would be to have a father be more knowledgeable about his company than his son?

‘I will see to it. Is there anything else you want to ask?’ Leave it to Lex to avoid doing anything more than implying that he would graciously help if the need arises.

‘Could you send me some information on the other companies in my portfolio? You might have some more information on them than I might be able to find.’ Probably true and it didn’t harm to flatter him either.

‘I will. Call me again soon, alright?’ That was the closest Lex Luther would get to admitting he cared about Connor. Still, the implication was appreciated.

‘I will, Dad.’

Connor hung up and flopped backwards on his bed.

‘So what now?’ he asked Tim.

‘You will see in time.’

With that cryptic remark Tim left.

A few days later, Connor did indeed see what all of that was about.

He had spent the time reading through the reports his father had sent him and planning further how to change his portfolio. It was disillusioning to see how many well-known companies had unethical business practices and it took a long time to find better alternatives. Connor also arranged for the yearly dividends to be donated to multiple charities. He didn’t need the money and actually felt a bit uneasy just being able to commandeer that much money that didn’t really belong to him.

He sat at the breakfast table with the TV switched on in the background when a familiar name suddenly caught his attention.

‘Yris Incorporated faced charges of misconduct this morning’ said the news anchor. ‘A report has been published anonymously last night accusing leading personnel of Yris Incorporated of accepting bribes from lobbyists of various industries resulting in countless misdemeanours against the environment to go undetected by the public. Tristan Yris, owner and CEO, himself is supposedly responsible of human trafficking being routed through his workforce which was previously known for giving work to minorities and immigrants. Since then, former employees have come forward, confirming the accusation and further explaining that they had been threatened to keep silent. It is certain that Yris Incorporated has some hard times ahead of themselves!’

Later that day, it was reported that Yris Inc.’s stock had fallen dramatically, as an incredible amount of them had been offered for sale at almost the same time as the story broke. Connor, who had spent a great part of the past days researching stock markets found this to be too coincidental, almost like someone had bought up stocks beforehand and then dropped them all at the same time. Of course, this would be considered manipulation of the free market and be highly illegal.

Later, when talking to Tim about this incredible coincidence, he just shrugged. ‘What good is money if you can’t use it to destroy rich scumbags?’


End file.
